About 1 week after I had made this decision, my sister called and told me of a girl named Brandi, who lost weight surgically, but not the bypass. She quickly gave me her number and got off the phone. You see we didn’t talk about weight in my family. It was sort of the big old Elephant in the middle of the room that everyone would step around. My family is all of normal size. I was the only ‘big’ one. Every once in awhile I got the “You have such a beautiful face, if only you would lose the weight.” This would always send me into tears. Well, I called Brandi and that very night; I went to her apartment to see her. Here was this tiny girl who told me that she had just finished eating ice cream and chips, showing me a picture of herself at over 300 pounds. Ice cream and chips?? This was for me! Within 24 hours I was in New Orleans at Dr. Louis Martin’s office. This was during the FDA trials and I had to jump through a few hoops in order to become one of the qualified patients. I passed all the tests and was given my band and a new life on March 29, 1999.
Now many people do quite a bit of research before one decides to get a band. I operated on faith alone. Sure, I listened to what the Doctor told me, but all I knew was that this was my last chance. Right after I had surgery, Brandi got married and moved to Baltimore. I did not know of anyone else in Dallas that had the band. Good or bad, I was going through this adventure alone. What an adventure it has been!
The surgery experience went well and the worst pain I felt was when I stupidly tried to shave my legs for the flight back to Dallas. Of course, I did milk it a little bit as I DID just have surgery. At first I didn’t want anyone to know. After all, I was a failure; I couldn’t “eat less and exercise more”. I had to have surgery to get healthy. Well, that lasted about a week. Then I realized that I wasn’t a failure, I was taking control of my life. I was doing something positive. I was SAVING my life! So, I told everyone! That led to my family and friends watching every morsel I put into my mouth. Marveling at how little I could eat and not be hungry. When I got the “deer in the headlights” look due to something being stuck, and asked to be excused, someone always would ask “Are you going to throw up?” I no longer can go to the bathroom during a meal to even wash my hands with out the “throw up” comment.
I spent the adjustment phase circling the kitchen like a shark. I would walk in and open the fridge, realize I wasn’t hungry and leave. About 30 minutes later, I would do the same thing. Eating out was an event. A few bites into the meal, I was full. I would bring everything home. My refrigerator was a sea of white cartons. Of course once you have eaten the same thing 4 times, you don’t really want it. Now, I order a small portion or just leave it there. I am a great date! My friends and the guys I went out with got to have a meal and a half! The worst problem I experience now is on several occasions, I have had Chefs come out of the kitchen and ask what was wrong with the meal. Argh! I have to explain the band in order to keep their feelings from being hurt!
I had a ton of energy after dropping just a few pounds! I proceeded to needlepoint an entire Christmas stocking for my mother and I even started cleaning my house. At one point, I had a toothbrush on the baseboards! Anything to keep busy and wrangle in some of this extra energy I had. No one really noticed I had lost much of anything, until I had lost about 60 pounds. Then all of the sudden, my clothes were loose, my face was thinner and my body had started to change. This was around October of 1999. Of course I still saw the 340-pound woman staring me back in the mirror. This prompted me to call Dr. Martin and request an audience with him for my next fill. Everything was going well for me, but I thought I was going crazy! Dr. Martin explained that this was very normal and quickly put me on anti-depressants. He also prescribed 3-20 minute back massages a week! Love that man.
What I can tell you now, is that the old Cynthia was in the process of dying. The new Cynthia was beginning to emerge. I didn’t know what to make of the new me and at the same time, I was mourning the old me. As the layers of fat were leaving my body, there was no place for me to hide. Suddenly my clients were annoying me. I was a travel agent to a very wealthy high maintenance clientele. I became frustrated with their requests. The manager of the agency where I rented my desk had an extremely short temper with me. I couldn’t understand what was going on. So, I sought the help of a therapist. Through discussing this matter with him, I realized that I was no longer the human doormat and I had begun to stand up for myself. I had self-esteem! Well, my clients and co-workers, who were used to wiping their feet on my face, just didn’t know what to make of this. I knew at that moment, that my time in the travel business would be short lived and I began to look for someone to purchase my client list. Changes happen when you change your life. Please don’t be afraid to go and talk to someone about it. Jobs change, marriages and relationships begin and end, and some new friends enter your life as well as old friends leave your life. This is all part of change. Please don’t be afraid of it, but embrace it!
In late January of 2000, my body shifted whilst I was on a trip in Thailand. All of the sudden, I had a neck! I found some long lost friends, my collarbones! One year after the surgery, 120 pounds were gone from my life forever! Ok, we all have lost weight and had success, only to gain it all back. I was so scared that the same thing would happen with the band. This was too good to be true. I was waiting for the other shoe to drop. To test myself, I decided not to get a fill for a while and see if I would balloon back up to my original weight.
During my non-tight months, I decided it was time to do something about my breasts. They were huge cow udders! So, in May of 2000, I went under the knife for a breast lift and reduction performed by Dr. David Liland. I went from a saggy DD to a perky B! I also started exercising. I had sat on my butt for the first year and to be completely honest with you, that is my biggest regret! I started turning the jiggle into toned. After losing over 100 pounds, I had a huge pannus or apron. It got hard to exercise with a girdle on in Texas heat. Time for the first tummy tuck! Before I went under the knife for a second time, I finally got another fill. Miracles of miracles, I had stayed within 1-2 pounds the whole time I was not on a tight fill! This was the real deal! I really was going to get thin! It was within reach!
Around Thanksgiving of 2000, I had 10 pounds of skin removed from my lower abdomen. I was told this would be an extremely painful operation. Well let me tell you, the pain was minimum. I woke up from surgery and could see all the way down to my toes, without having to move a bunch of skin! Believe me, there was only joy! My advice to people considering a tummy tuck, don’t be afraid of the pain, it isn’t like a tummy tuck for someone who has a little pooch. Everyone who has had one since has told me that I was the only one who said the pain wouldn’t be bad, and I was right!
Three wonderful things happened after my lower tummy tuck. First, I found a buyer for my business and started all the legalities that come with selling a business. Next, I began to be noticed by the opposite sex—Of course I will get into that in a minute. Finally, I found out that there were other people that live in the DFW area who were banded. They had gone to Mexico. I no longer had to go through this alone! Now, don’t get me wrong, I could not ask for more supportive family or friends. My sister alone is someone who I credit for saving my life. She has been my biggest cheerleader! Oh but to have some people that have been through the same experience. To bounce questions off them, to find out if they were going through the same changes—that was heaven! It was a blessing to find them and I am always thrilled to meet a newly banded person.
By March of 2001, I had sold my business and was ready to have my upper tummy tuck. Now for most of you, 1 tummy tuck would suffice, but my Plastic Surgeon was concerned because I had a lovely 13-inch scar on my right side due to a gallbladder operation in 1986. So, off to operation number 3. By now I was a size 12-14. I was thrilled! I could go into any store I wanted and buy something that fit! No longer would I EVER have to step foot into Lane Bryant again! Actually, my secret goal is to put Lane Bryant out of business. By now I was exercising almost everyday. I could have cared less if I ever reached my goal weight! My trainer reminded me ever so gently that I wasn’t supposed to be a 12-14. My body shape was to be smaller. He gave me the encouragement and the slap I needed to finish what I had set out to do. I no longer had to go to New Orleans for fills as I had found a Doctor in Dallas, who knew of the band and administered fills. I kept experiencing shifts in my body. Not so much weight loss, but 1 day I would go to bed with a pair of pants that fit and the next day they would be too big! My body was compacting. This to me is the strangest, yet the most beautiful thing about the band. The Lap-Band became FDA approved in the US on June 5, 2001.
In March of 2002, I was offered a job to work as patient advocate for a company that helps people in getting the band. I had my final plastic surgery in April. Dr. Liland did my arms and thighs and a revision on the tummy tucks. Following this surgery, for the first time, I could look in the mirror and no longer see the 340-pound girl, but actually a thin woman, with a flat stomach and thighs that didn’t touch! My clothing size had become a 4-6. The first time I tried on size 4 jeans that fit, I kept making the sales girl go and get me other pairs as I kept thinking it was mismarked! I could wear high heels and not be in pain! I could tie my shoes with the laces straight and not to the side as they were before. You know what I mean, the art of trying to tie your shoes when you are big!
There is a shop in Dallas called Tootsies. For years I handled their travel account. I always loved their clothes, but of course they didn’t carry size 28. Finally I could walk in there and buy something. The salespeople used to laugh at me, as I would grab the largest size and pray that it would fit. Of course by now, I was thinner and a 12 was just too big. They would giggle as I walked back out and grabbed the 10. Snicker some more as I came back out for the 8, and finally howl when I would again return for the 6. One of the salespeople, Adam, took pity on me and told me to just call him when I was coming in and he would pull the correct size for me from now on.
I would like to mention the body dysmorphia that many of you will go through during your weight loss. It took 3 years, over 200 pounds and several plastic surgeries for me to finally see in the mirror what everyone else saw. Each morning I am still amazed when I look in the mirror and see a thin me staring back. I have even turned around to look for the real me! Shopping has become one of my favorite activities. Today, I counsel patients to hold off as long as possible to buy nice clothes. Get the cheap stuff until you have hit your goal, and then buy the expensive clothes. I couldn’t wait and therefore, the Salvation Army has made a mint off of reselling the nice clothes I bought.
Now you were wondering when I would get to the opposite sex. Dating was new for me and will be new for you as you enter into the visible world. To be noticed by men is shocking and quite scary at first. I can still remember the first time a guy checked me out. It is one of those frozen moments. Silly me, I had to ask my friend if that guy was looking at me! I went on many dates with complete creeps for quite awhile just to get into the groove of it all. I finally met my Knight in Shining Armor and Got married in November of 2005.
I have been working in some form of the banding business since before it became a legal procedure in the United States. I love what I do. I get to help people become healthy and enjoy life. 9 years ago, my life was hopeless. Now it is full of hope! I have a dream job and a great marriage. I have self-confidence, I have learned to love myself and hey, I look good! People that see me for the first time since I lost weight have said” Oh Cynthia, you have lost a person!” I usually reply, “No, I found one.”
At Christmas, a few years ago, my mother gave me a hand towel that now hangs in my office. It says, “What the caterpillar thought was the end of life, the butterfly realized was just the beginning.” Every person who has had weight loss surgery is a caterpillar on a wonderful adventure to becoming the butterfly. Enjoy every step of the way, the good and the bad, because now you HAVE a life. And a healthy one at that!
Thank you for you time!
Cynthia Jones O’Kelly |
